Last Night I Had A Dream

1.

last night I had a dream

I got shot behind a grocery store

The bullet entered my body on

the right side, just above my hip

and exited on the left

I told the cops and they

brushed it off and didn't

call an ambulance

I watched the blood spurting out,

but then it stopped

The holes were small

I was all right

I didn't die

2.

last night I had a dream that I was in a WaWa, or Heritage's, or something. I was with someone (I can't remember who) and I wasn't planning on buying anything, then I got really hungry. I leaned on the counter of the deli.

"I'm starving," I said to the deli worker. "I want a sandwich."

"What do you want on it?" he asked.

I knew I wanted roast beef and I think I told him that. He started saying something and I said "Make it how you would like it. Make it good," and he made it. I paid with my Rowan card and the cashier started to give me fifteen dollars in change.

"Here's ten," he said handing me the money. I took it. "Just one second and I'll give you the five," he said.

"Does he still have my Rowan card?" I thought to myself feeling it in my pocket, no. As he was handing me the five I gave the person I was with an "Is this guy serious?" look.

"Wait, didn't I pay with Rowan card, why are you giving me this?" I asked.

"You failed the test," he said.

"What do you mean? I just tried to give it back."

"It's too late. You took the money. You failed the test."

"So you test everyone who comes in here like this?" I asked. He nodded. "Don't you lose a lot of money?"

"No, most people pass the test," he said.

3.

last night I had a dream

I was in a bathtub

alongside a naked fat lady

and there was another fat lady, clothed

sitting on a chair, next to the tub

she wanted us to give her dog a bath

I dreamt this lying in a hammock at a secret campsite off of the Batona trail.

4.

last night I had a dream

I was sitting in a class

to the right of a fat lady

teacher with

her tit hanging out

she was twistin' that nipple

I was unsure whether anyone

 (besides me) noticed

Today during a completely unrelated incident...

I said   "That was like an alarm clock from hell."

5.

last night I had a dream I was in the House of Blues, it wasn't the one in Showboat, but it was in a casino. I left the theater carrying two empty bottles wanting to gamble. I went down an elevator then outside. There were two people standing there.

"How do I get to the casino?" I asked them. They pointed me down a dark city street and told me I would have to walk through New Brunswick. I peered into the abyss. "Is it a long walk?" I asked and they said yes.

Then I went back inside and asked two girls how to get back to the Student Center. They knew the way and we got into the elevator.

6.

last night I had a dream I was in a high school classroom with a young and beautiful stupid female teacher. A kid came into the room and said something to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then she and he went out in the hallway and the class heard them yelling at each other.

"What did he say to her?" I asked.

"He told her this class is a Ponzi scheme," said a boy sitting next to me. He also told me that the kid had been having a rough couple of days and was found earlier with a plastic soda bottle in his mouth, root beer.

The teacher came back into the room and kept talking as the bell rang. The kids crowded around the door and as soon as the bravest kid left they all did.

I am walking home from class through Campus Crossings and I hear someone playing guitar in an upstairs apartment. I climb the stairwell, walk inside, and it's my friend Mike.

"You wanna play the (name of guitar I can't remember)?" he asked.

"Yeah, but look, there's this crazy kid walking around there," I said. He was holding a gun and yelling. I tried to look at him without being seen. I thought about dialing 9-1-1, and then I did, but it was the wrong number.

The class was standing in a circle around the crazy kid. I was trying not to look at him and then I did. He saw me looking at him and said "Why is everyone looking at me!"

Then a big van pulled onto the grass and parked. It had large tires and was very heavy duty looking, like an ambulance. The words "Mental Health" were on the side of it. The people in the van got out, opened the door, and the kid got in, no problems. I don't know what happened to the gun.

7.

last night I had a dream that Wiz Khalifa was to play a show in the front yard of Girard. His opening act was some kind of booty shake contest. My Dad was there and Wiz called him "Arnie" or some other nickname for Arnold Shwarzeneggar because he is tall. There were also gangsters and little kids in costumes.

I climbed a tree and walked out on a branch, but jumped off when I heard it begin to crack. After the opening act, I texted and called you, but you didn't answer. You texted back "I love you."

Then Wiz and his crew disappeared and I assumed they were smoking somewhere. I went looking for them inside of the house. I crouched and looked down the stairs, they weren't there. The little kids in costumes started fighting each other and their moms tried to break them up. A car stopped in the road but someone told it to keep going.

8.

last night I had a dream three hummingbirds got into my apartment

through an open window and I couldn’t get them out

I awoke in terror as one flew into my neck

9.

last night I had a dream that there was a curse in the doorway

If my body wasn’t symmetrical or entered at the wrong time

Something terrible would happen

10.

last night I had a dream I was at my neighbor’s house
with a red headed kid I went to school with
and a random fat girl.

She pulled out 2 baggies. One had a bunch of multicolored pills. They looked like the candy Spree.
I assumed it was ecstasy.  The other bag was filled with what looked like tiny fruit loops.

 “We stopped at Bonnaroo and bought these,” She said.

 “What are those?” I said pointing to the bag of miniature breakfast cereal.

“Morphine”

As I was leaving I saw an acquaintance from school walking up to the house.

“Where you going?” he asked.

“I’ll be back in a little bit,” I said.

These are all real dreams.